Chapter One

Nikki let the clicking sound of her heels pull her away from the summersaults that her stomach was doing as she walked down the hall of the home. The lack of color in her surroundings brought her very little comfort. She hadn't been to visit her grandmother in months, with no good explanation, and she knew her grandmother would have something to say. She had never known her grandmother to bite her tongue and she knew she wouldn't start today in her old age. She took a deep breath as she approached the door. She knocked lightly on the cracked door to which she received no response.

"NiNi?" She called out to her grandmother by the name she'd been calling her since she was a toddler as she pushed the door open. She was surprised to see that she had company.

"Oh, hi Nicole." She smiled warmly as she put the cards in her hand down.

"Oh, I didn't wanna interrupt I just-"

"Hold on." She wrote something on the paper and slid it across the small table to the man. He looked back and forth between the two then smiled.

"She's beautiful. . .like you." He smiled and she returned it.

"Thank you."

"I best be going fore the nurses get to looking for me." He sighed as he used his cane to stand up. "Bye."

"Bye." Nikki and her grandmother said.

"Oh, and I definitely want a rematch Ms. Nicki. I got the rest of my life to beat you in here." He called over his shoulder.

"Get outta here old man!" She said with a scowl before turning her attention to her granddaughter. "So, you gonna sit stranger?"

Nicole didn't say anything as she went to take the seat that the old man was just in. It was quiet between the two of them. She decided to start with an apology.

"You know, I'm really sorry about-"

"Never be sorry. Apologizing is ok but sorry people are just. . .well, sorry." Her grandmother didn't look at her as she began to pick up the cards with her shaking hands.

"Well, I apologize for-"

"Your Dad send you over here?"

"No, no. . . I just wanted to come see you and-" She stopped speaking and looked at her grandmother funny.

"And?"

"Have you been taking that medicine?"

"Don't need it." She pulled her bright pink blanket around her shoulders and held it tight at the front.

"Grandma." She sighed.

"I came here a healthy woman and suddenly all types of shit is wrong with me? No. They just wanna make sure I stay. No ma'am. I'm not taking it." She said stubbornly and Nicole smirked at her swearing.

Her grandmother was right though. She had no health issues whatsoever when she admitted herself into the home. They didn't know why she did it but once she had her mind made up there was no changing it. They assumed that it was because her husband of thirty plus years had passed but they weren't sure.

"What are you doing here Nicole? I thought you wouldn't come visit till I was in a box."

"NiNi, that's not true. . . I-I-"

"I'm kidding." She laughed loudly. "Lighten up."

Nicole laughed lightly.

"Oh, I brought you something." She went into her bag and pulled out a box. She opened it and a smile crept onto her grandmother's face.

"Chocolate covered strawberries?"

"Yup." She smiled back. "I know the food here sucks."

"So, what brings you here KiKi?" She hadn't heard that name in a while and it made her smile.

"Um, I wanted some advice. . .on my Dad. Like how you used to give me."

"Um, hmmm." She nodded for her to continue as she ate her strawberry.

"Well, really I just need some advice. I don't really have girlfriends and my parents. . .they don't understand. I know you're mad because I haven't been here in a while-"

"You're what, 20? 21?"

"23."

"Well, butter my biscuit and call me Betty. Where has time gone?" She rested her hand on her chest. "You have a young face. That's good."

"Yeah?" She smiled.

"Yeah. Well, you're young. I know you don't wanna sit around a bunch of old people. You probably got a guy too. Don't cha?" She smiled.

"Well, that's sorta what I wanted to talk to you about." She shifted in her seat.

"Oh?" She smiled.

"Yeah, well, you see. . . My boyfriend, he's really good to me and we've been together since we were 19 and I really love him Grandma. He's so supportive and funny and, and. . .he asked me to marry him." She looked down at her manicured nails. Nicki noticed that there was no ring.

"You said no because?"

"My dad doesn't like him. Says he's no good for me." She wiped at her tears.

"Why?"

"Cause he's a mechanic and he does stand up comedy on the weekends and he's white. He says I should stick with my own people. I mean, what does his race have to do with anything? Its so stupid." She took the Kleenex that her grandmother had extended to her. "Thanks." She wiped her face.

"Do you love him?"

"Yeah but I find myself questioning certain things. Like, his job and pipe dreams and-" She sighed. "I don't know. Were things this hard for you with grandpa?"

"They were harder but that story is for another day."

"No. I wanna hear it. Please." She pouted and her grandmother smiled.


Nicki walked behind her friends as they walked through the mall. They were finally leaving and she was beyond grateful until she realized that they were dragging her out tonight. They were all going to some bikers club's party and her friends were excited because all the older guys would be there. They were all 17 but since they were 15 they had been sneaking into older clubs and parties.

"Nicki, did you hear me?" Her friend TT asked.

"Huh?"

"Brandon's gonna be there tonight."

"So?"

"Girl, do you see the way he be looking at you?" Candi asked.

"Girl, do you see the way I don't give a fuck?" She sarcastically imitated her friend. "Besides, even if I did Robert wouldn't be having that."

"Why yo Pops be trippin'?"  TT asked.

"If it ain't Trini it don't make sense." She rolled her eyes.

"Trini boys are fine as fuck though, Nic." TT said. "I'll take one."

"Me, too." Lauren chimed in.

"Yeah but I don't click with none of em. The one guy I did think I liked I realized I liked because my parents said I should."

"Well, why you so scared to find somebody you do like? Regardless of where they come from." Lauren asked.

"I can't do that to my parents." She shook her head. "They came all the way here from Trinidad to give us a better life."

"How shitty would you life be if you dated someone you actually liked though?" TT asked.

"If my parents don't like him then it'd be pretty shitty." She laughed lightly. "They just don't want me to end up like my brother."

"Jay's life seems straight."  Lauren said.

"Jay dropped out of high school in the eleventh grade, he works a minimum wage job, instead of trying to learn how to take over my Dad's business, AFTER being locked up twice and he's playing house with his baby mama. None of those things are my parents idea of the 'American Dream'."

"Isn't your future husband flying out here soon?" Candi teased.

"Husband?" Lauren asked.

"His name is Isaiah. My Dad really likes him and since I was like thirteen my Dad been saying little shit like, "One day Isaiah will be a fine businessman. Businessmen make good husbands." ." She rolled her eyes.

"Welp, tonight we shall have fun and forget everything else." TT said cheerfully.

Hours later they pulled  up to the party. It was in a small building but people were outside standing by their bikes conversing. When Candi seen a familiar face she led the girls to him.

"Sup, Rex."  She smiled.

"What's up? What yall doing here?" He asked leaning against his bike.

"Tryna get into something tonight." She said.

"Sup little Nicki. They got you out tonight?" He laughed.

"Yeah." She sighed and leaned against a bike unintentionally.

"Yo, look at this nigga." He nodded towards his friend who was getting cursed out by his girlfriend.

"Ain't that SB?" Lauren asked.

"Yeah." Rex laughed.

"Who's that girl?" Candi asked.

"Baby mama."

"SB got a kid?" Lauren asked.

"Nah but that nigga got all the baby mama drama in the world. The bitch is crazy." He shook his head.

Nicki glanced back at the guy they were talking about. His girlfriend was now swinging at him and getting increasingly louder. Nicki shook her head then turned back to her friends who had changed the subject.

"Excuse me." Nicki heard an aggressive voice from behind her.

"Huh?" She looked at him confused.

"You on my bike."

"Oh." She looked him over quickly before standing. "My bad."

He angrily got on his bike and followed behind his girlfriends car. Nicki thought nothing of it as she turned her attention back to her friends again.



"Wait." Nicole laughed. "So, grandpa didn't even pay attention to you? And since when did he ride a bike? My dad never said anything about that." Nicki simply shrugged before continuing her story.



Nicki didn't think about Safaree not once after the party until she saw him again. Rex had invited them to a barbeque and of course Candi said they would be there. Once they were there everyone linked up with some guy except for Nicki. To avoid being the third wheel she simply walked away and sat at a picnic table, alone. She had too much on her mind to be worried about the things that her friends were anyway.

"Yo, you in my seat." She heard a voice. She looked around the table and then under her butt.

"Doesn't have a name anywhere on it."

"You know, you have a problem with sitting on what's mine." He smirked and sat across from her.

"Oh, you're that guy." She pointed her long finger nail towards him and smiled.

"Yeah, I'm that guy." He said cocky to which she rolled her eyes.

"Oh, I almost didn't notice you without old girl slapping you upside your head." She said sarcastically then began laughing.

"Whatever." He said with a straight face. "You Candi's girl, right?"

"Yup."

"She's cool people."

"Yup."

"Oh, now you one wording me? That's cool." He nodded. "I'll leave you alone."

"No." She said more eagerly than she intended but she didn't want to seem rude. "I just. . . Look, did Candi send you over here to talk to me or something? "

"No." He chuckled.

"They keep tryna get me to talk to different guys. I don't be feelin' it." 

She rested her chin on her closed fist and looked across the park at the playground trying to remember a much simpler time in her life. While she wasn't paying attention Safaree snatched up her phone that was sitting on the table in front of her.

"Can I have my phone back?" She looked at him unamused.

"Come get it." He smirked mischievously and stood.

"No, seriously." She stood and walked towards him. "Give me my shit."

He took off running towards the playground and she instinctively ran after him. When he reached the swings he held it above his head. She tried reaching for it but failed.

"Stop playing." She hit him in his chest.

"Your hits don't hurt." He laughed.

"What do you want?" She folded her arms and put all of her weight on her right hip.

"To talk to you." He smiled and she rolled her eyes.

"Where's ya girl? Go talk to her."

"Don't got one." He shrugged.

"Can you stop fucking around and just give me my shit?"

"If you swing higher than me then I'll give it back."

"What? I'm not-"

"Eh." He stopped her from talking. "If I swing higher you get your phone back with my number."

"Oh, gee, that's the best got damn prize I could have ever thought of." She said sarcastically.

"I thought so." He smiled as he walked towards a swing and sat. "Lets go."

She huffed and went to sit on the swing next to him. Moments later they were swinging and laughing. She tried hard not to enjoy his company but she couldn't help it.

"Ok." He said. "We gone jump on the count of three."

"Are you crazy?"

"One. . ."

"No!"

"Two. . . Three!"

She didn't know what it was but something in her said to let go. For only four seconds she felt free. . .until she hit the ground.

"Ow." She laughed.

"You ok?" He extended his hand to her. She grabbed it and pulled him to the ground with her.

For the rest of that day they stayed close by each other playing, joking, talking. It wasn't love at first sight or even the second but it would soon come and they would never be able to look back.



"Visiting hours are long over Ms. Maraj." The nurse stood by the door.

"Oh, my granddaughter was just leaving."

"Ok." She smiled and walked away.

"You're going by your maiden name?" Nicole asked.

"Well, I am single." She smirked and Nicole shook her head.

"Well, I'll see you later, Grams. I wanna hear the rest of this story." She stood and went to kiss her grandmothers cheek.

"Of course you do."

She watched her granddaughter walk out before steadying herself on the chair and pushing up. She shuffled down the hall in her housecoat and slippers to his room hoping not to get caught in the men's wing again. When she reached his room her heart broke a little to see him hooked up to the machine that would aide his breathing in the middle of the night in case it stopped. He always pretended to be perfectly fine around her so that she wouldn't worry but she knew better.

"Night old man." She kissed his forehead before praying over his bed like she did every night. Once she was done she shuffled back to her room and laid down. She let all of their memories consume her until she fell into a deep slumber.










Sorry for any typos or anything. I'm kinda posting this in a rush & I didn't proof read.